Shadows in Me Read online

  Heather: Love you girly, look after yourself.

  I cleared Heathers message, just in case. It wasn’t exactly a good restart for Vincent and I, but what could I do? He didn’t like Brent, and why upset him if he was just a friend? I slipped back into bed and snuggled up to Vincent. He turned and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer. The rest of the night I struggled with guilty feelings of not telling Vincent the truth. By the time we woke the next morning I was feeling ten times worse than I was the night before.

  Vincent did the best he could to help me. He made breakfast, ordered lunch as well as supper. I didn’t even have the energy to get out of bed. By late afternoon, he had to leave to get back to work. I was left to fend for myself.

  ‘I love you Caitlin, I wish I didn’t have to go. But it won’t be that long before you’ll be coming home.”

  Chapter 9

  Caitlin

  It had only been ten minutes since Vincent had left when my phone started ringing. I looked at the screen, but didn’t recognise the number. I let it go to voice mail; I wasn’t in the mood. Five minutes later I got a text message.

  Unknown: Answer your phone!!

  Me: Who are you and why should I?

  Unknown: Gosh princess, did you not save my number on your phone yet?

  Me: Brent, sorry.

  Unknown: Are you home?

  Me: Why

  Unknown: Do you always need to answer a question with a question?

  Me: Yes wise ass.

  Unknown: Ok then just open the door Princess

  Me: Why

  Unknown: Cause I am standing like an idiot outside it

  Holy shit, this wasn’t good, what if Vincent came back??

  Me: You can’t be here

  Unknown: Why not? Lover-boy has gone home.

  Me: BRENT

  Unknown: CAITLIN, just open the door, pretty please. I brought food

  I walked to the door and looked through the peephole. True as nuts…he was standing at my front door!

  Me: Go home! You shouldn’t be here

  Unknown: I’m not leaving till you open the door.

  I dropped my phone on the side-table and opened the door just enough to peep through.

  “Ok, so I’ve opened the door, now you can go home.” I hid my body behind the door, I’d been in my PJ’s the whole day, really no way to invite guests into my home.

  “Caitlin, just let me in, I won’t bite you. You’re being a little bit rude Princess, I’m just being a good friend, came to check on you and I brought you food.” Brent held up the brown paper packet from a deli down the road.

  “Ok you can come in, but not for long, and I’m in my PJ’s so no snotty comments, OK.” I pushed the door open to let him in. Somehow I knew this decision was going to come back and bite me in the ass. Somewhere down the line I would pay for this.

  “See? That wasn’t too bad, I told you I wouldn’t bite.” Brent placed the food on the table and then picked up my phone.

  “What you doing with my phone?” I tried to grab the phone from him but he held me back with one hand while pushing buttons with the other.

  “Saving my number. Maybe you’ll answer me next time.” He handed me back my phone and made himself comfortable on the couch.

  “So, what movie are we watching tonight?” He folded his arms behind his head and crossed his legs in front.

  “Are you quite comfortable there?” I was trying my hardest to look angry, staring down at him with my hands on my hips; I was failing miserable at it though. How could I be angry with him? In all the years that I had known him, and the little time we had spent together, I had never seen him so relaxed, so playful. I did feel comfortable with him, I felt like I could be myself.

  “Oh come on Princess, cut a man some slack, I know lover-boy is on his way home, I saw him when he left. Don’t worry, he didn’t see me. I don’t have cable at my place I came to watch a movie.” He smirked at me, and patted the couch next to him.

  There was no way in hell I was going to sit next to him on the couch. Although I felt comfortable with him being around, I knew there was sexual tension between us, I had felt it three years ago and I had felt it on Friday night again.

  “You want something to drink?” I walked to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

  “Sure what you offering?”

  I turned around to find Brent standing in the kitchen with me; I didn’t even hear him come into the room. He looked different than I remembered, he was a little taller, his face a little harder, and holy hell, so was his body.

  I tried desperately to focus on the task at hand. I turned around and started setting up the cups for coffee.

  “Coffee or hot coco?”

  “I’ll take my coffee black with one sugar.” He came to stand next to me leaning his butt against the counter, his arms crossed in front of him.

  “So tell me, when did you get back? The last I heard from Sam, you were still in Africa?”

  “Got back a few months ago. So you kept tabs on me? Here I thought you’d forgotten all about me.”

  “I wasn’t keeping tabs on you, she just mentioned it.”

  “It’s nice to know you cared.”

  “I did care and I do care, you saved my life, I will be forever grateful for what you did. I hope you understand that.” I felt that sting in my heart again, thinking back to that dreadful day. If it wasn’t for Brent, I would not be here today. My mind was somewhere else; I was pouring the hot water into our cups and almost burnt myself. I would have if Brent hadn’t grabbed the kettle out of my hands.

  “Caitlin, you ok.”

  “Sorry, just got a little distracted.”

  Brent placed his hands over mine, his calming touch was just the trigger to push me over, tears rolled down my cheeks.

  “Hey, why the tears?” Brent turned me around to face him; he placed his finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at him.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be such a baby, the memories of that day, it just gets to me sometimes. I thought I loved him, I thought he loved me, I was such a fool, if you didn’t do what you did.” I tried to be strong but my emotions were all over the show, and being sick just made it all worse.

  Brent let go of my face and put his arms around me. He pulled me against his chest hugging me tightly to his body. I put my arms around him and held on. The flood gates opened and I cried, again. I finally let go of all the guilt and pain I had been feeling. Brent scooped me into his arms and carried me to the couch.

  After what felt like a lifetime, I finally composed myself and was able to talk again. We spoke about everything. He told me about his mom and the abuse in his childhood, the reason he saw the signs between Hunter and I in school, the reason he felt so protective over me then already. He told me how he felt when Vincent had told him I was missing, and then finding me with Hunter. I could see the pain in his eyes; he felt that he had let me down. He also told me a little bit about his time in Africa, and the friends he had lost.

  Before we knew it, it was already after one in the morning. I had to be at work at seven, sick or not. Chef Nathaniel would not take kindly to me being off after a weekend of “drinking”. He was at the club on Friday night, and had seen us partying.

  After Brent left, I locked up and headed to bed. I grabbed my phone off the table and saw that I had 3 missed calls, two from Vincent and one from Heather. I listened to the voice calls.

  Vincent: You must be asleep already, I hope you feel better in the morning, and remember to take your medication. I love you my angel, we will be together soon. Get better; I will try call you again in the morning.

  Heather: Hello dolly, where are you? Vincent just got back and said you’re still not feeling too great. Give me a call so we can chat, I’m very interested to know what’s happening your side. From what I can see you didn’t tell him Brent is in town. I hope you know what you are doing?

  I placed the phone on the nightstand before taking a shower. I knew
Heather was right, I needed to tell Vincent about Brent. But then again, I would only be in town for another month. Maybe I could keep the two of them apart for that long. I didn’t want to cause unnecessary unhappiness? What was wrong with us being friends? Why should Vincent have a problem with it? I wasn’t doing anything wrong, we were just friends. Was I not allowed to have friends? I knew I was just trying to justify not telling Vincent about Brent. I took my medication like a good girl and climbed into bed. I knew I better text Vincent good night; if I phoned him, he would pick up that I was hiding something from him by my voice.

  Me: I’ve taken my medication and getting back into bed. Thank you for the message, sorry I missed your call.

  Almost immediately I got a text back.

  Vincent: Good girl. Hope you feel better soon, love you like crazy.

  Me. Love u 2

  I set my alarm and placed my phone on the nightstand. I wouldn’t be going for my run in the morning, but there was no way of getting out of work.

  I had a surprisingly restful sleep, no dreams, no nightmares, just sleep. I woke up feeling a hundred times better. My talk with Brent last night was just the therapy I needed. I finally had someone who fully understood what was going on in my mind. Not just about what happened with the shooting, but also my relationship with Hunter. The love I had felt for him, and also the loss and guilt afterwards. Having Brent in my life was a good thing for me, and I decided that when I saw Vincent again, I was going to tell him about Brent, and that I want to be friends with him. Vincent would just have to accept it. If he loved me and wanted to be with me, he would have to accept all of me, and that means accepting my friends too.

  I got to work bright and early, still feeling a little crappy, but not as bad as the day before. Chef Nathaniel decided I couldn’t work with the food, so I attended to the vegetable garden.

  Being a Monday, Duke’s was closed, and Brent was waiting for me outside my apartment when I got home.

  “You took your time getting home. Come, I’ve made plans for us.” He took my hand and was starting to pull me with him.

  I pulled my hand from his. “What, you’re just assuming I’ll go with you? I just got home, I still need to bath. You can’t just demand I go with you. Don’t you think you should ask if I have my own plans first?”

  “Oh please Princess, you look fine just as you are. We’re just going to grab a bite, I’ll have you home before bedtime.”

  There was no arguing with him, I closed my eyes and shook my head. I may as well.

  We landed up at a Burger joint on the beach front. The food was amazing and the company even better. We talked and talked, about everything. I even told Brent about Alexis. He laughed at me for being so jealous, and it made me feel better, but I could see in his eyes that he understood how I felt. There was something brewing in his mind.

  This became our ritual, every Monday he would come and fetch me after work, and we would have dinner at our new place.

  At least twice a week the girls and I would land up at Dukes. I soon learned that the owner’s daughter Cassy, was not too fond of me. I saw the way she looked at Brent, I asked him if there was anything between the two of them, but he said they were only friends. I couldn’t believe men could be so blind, it was obvious to me that she saw it differently.

  It was the week before Thanks giving, I really missed my family, and I missed Vincent like crazy. I decided that I was going to go to Dukes on my own. The girls wanted to go to a night club, but I just wasn’t in the mood for people bumping into me, and having to scream at the top of my lungs just to order a drink.

  By the time I got to Dukes, Brent was already on stage doing his thing. He was singing one of Nickelback’s songs, Miss You. I loved his voice, it was so perfectly suited to that style of music. I was lucky enough to find an open table to the left of the stage. He saw me walk in and winked at me when I sat down. I could feel the blush spread across my body. Hell, this man knew how to make me blush. I was focused on him singing and didn’t see Cassy standing next to me.

  “You ready to place your order?” There was a hint of bitchiness in her voice.

  I nearly jumped out of my skin, I looked up. “Yes please, I’ll have a glass of white wine.” She didn’t even respond, she just turned and walked away. By the time she got back with my drink Brent was finished his set and was about to take a break. He was making his way over to me just as Cassy got to the table. I looked at him and smiled, and just as I reached up to take the glass from her, she spilled it all over my top.

  “Sorry my mistake,” she said sarcastically. “I’m a little clumsy tonight.” She picked the glass up from the table and turned to walk away.

  I looked at her, shocked. Before she turned I swear I saw a slight grin on her face.

  “What the hell Cassy? Are you drunk or something?” There was a hint of humour in Brent’s voice.

  The little shit thought it was an accident, but I knew better. I knew she didn’t like me, or that she liked Brent a little too much, and was claiming what was hers.

  “Sorry babes, I didn’t mean to mess on your special friend. So sorry Caitlin, let me get you a new drink.” She walked off to the bar.

  “I don’t think I should have come out tonight.” I got up and started walking out.

  “Where you going?” Brent reached for my hand but I pulled it away.

  “Open your eyes Brent. That was no accident.”

  Chapter 10

  Caitlin

  It had been three days since I had seen Brent at Dukes, he had tried to call me and even tried to come and see me, but I just wasn’t in the mood for drama. It was obvious to me that there was something going on with him and Cassy, and well, I had my own boyfriend, so I didn’t want to make trouble for another girl. Brent needed to sort out his shit. I had spoken to Heather about it and she agreed that I needed to step away; I needed to focus on my own love life.

  I hadn’t spoken to Vincent the whole day, and I was getting worried. We hadn’t seen each other for a week. I was thinking that I should just pack a bag and go home for the weekend.

  I opened the door to find Vincent standing in front of me. He was dressed in smart black pants, a white shirt with a black tie, and his white dinner jacket. I had never seen him dressed like that, he took my breath away.

  “Why are you just standing there my angel? Are you not going to invite me in?”

  “Uh…sorry you just …. “ I couldn’t speak.

  He stepped forward, dipped his head and kissed me, at first it was soft and gentle, but it soon turned into something more, something we’d both been longing for. He broke away from me with a big sigh. He pressed a kiss on the top of my head and pulled me tight against him.

  “I love you so very much, you are my world and this distance is just too much. I can’t wait for you to come home to me.” His voice so soft, almost a whisper.

  “I love you too.” I had never known a love like this, the need to be consumed by someone like him was almost too much. It felt like my heart was going to explode.

  “Come, I have something special planned for you.” He took my hand and started walking towards the door.

  “Wait, where are we going?” I pulled back a little, I’ve just got home from one hell of a long day at work, I smell of food and my hair is a mess.

  “It’s a surprise, come we need to leave now to still make it before sunset.”

  “Can I at least have a shower and dress into something a little more suited?” I looked him up and down with brows raised, he was looking all smart and sexy and here I was standing in my chef’s jacket.

  “Please be quick.” As I turned to walk away I felt his hand come down on my ass with a hard smack. I yelped in surprise, I turned my head and stuck my tongue out at him. The look on his face, made me quickly sprint to my room and slam the door behind me. I knew what was on his mind, but hell, I wasn’t ready for a hiding from him, and once we started with that we’d never get to see the sunset.

 
After a quick shower I walked into my room to find him sitting in the chair in front of the window, the most beautiful vintage, dusty pink dress lay out on my bed, it was paired with gold sandals.

  “You picked this for me?” I lifted the dress from the bed and held it against my skin.

  “Well I had some help, I took Heather with me, and I wanted this night to be special.” He walked towards me and took the dress from my hands.

  “Let me help you.” He lay the dress back on the bed, I still had my towel wrapped around me. He stood in front of me, the look in his eyes sent shivers down my spine. I could feel the heat in my belly. I was desperately fighting to keep my lust under control, and could feel myself losing the battle. He very slowly ran his thumb over the swell of my breast, before unwrapping the towel, letting it drop to the floor. He ran his hand down my arm and took my hands in his.

  “You are so beautiful.”

  I could feel a warm glow spreading across my body, even after being together for so long he still managed to knock my feet right out from under me. I wobbled a little, and he pulled me tight against body. I could feel he was just as affected as I was. We stood like that for a while. I rested my head on his chest, I could hear his heart beating fast, but he was very controlled. After a few seconds he kissed me on the head and then let me go.

  “I think I should go wait in the kitchen, if we keep this up we’ll never get out of here.” He walked out, leaving me standing in the middle of the room, wet with desire.

  Ten minutes later I walked into the kitchen, Vincent was sitting at the counter. When I walked in he got up but didn’t say a word, he just stared at me. I had put my hair into a messy bun, and done my make-up. I felt like a princess.

  “You look beautiful.” He walked towards me and kissed me again. He took me by the hand, lifted my suitcase off the floor and started walking toward the door.

  “Let’s go, we’ve wasted enough time, I can’t wait to show you your surprise.

  I looked at the suitcase in his hand. “What is that for?”