Shadows in Me Read online

  “I have missed you today, Angel. I hate that on our first day apart we’re already fighting. This is not a good way to start.”

  “I know and I’m sorry, where are you now?”

  “I’m home, just walked in. So, let’s cut through the bullshit, tell me about Alexis.” What was the point of pussyfooting around this?

  “So I was right, Heather did tell you already.”

  “Yes, I got a photo as well. So tell me more. Is she really qualified or did you hire her just because of her looks.”

  “She is really qualified you know me, you know what I am looking for in an employee. It’s not just her looks, although you know, we had at least 25% more male customers come into the shop today.”

  “Oh I see, well whatever you say, I’m not here to judge, you are your own boss.” I felt a little jealous, but at the end of the day what could I really do about it?

  “Caitlin I promise you, it is strictly professional, I love you darling, I would never do anything to hurt you, hurt us. Please believe me.”

  “I’m fine Vincent, I was just a little shocked when I saw the photo of her, I was silently hoping you would pick a girl a little less , how can I say, out there, if you know what I mean.”

  “You’re being silly now, there is nothing to her.”

  “Whatever.” I said blandly. But my gut was telling me something else. I felt defeated, it had been a long day and I just didn’t have the energy for it all.

  “Caitlin, I don’t want to fight with your over something this stupid. I’ve done nothing but employee a good looking girl. I don’t see the issue.”

  I could hear the irritation in his voice, which pissed me off even more.

  “The fact that you don’t see it, is the problem. The day it hits you in the face, it might be too late. I’m tired, and I don’t want to talk to you about this anymore. Good night Vincent!” I didn’t even give him a change to respond; I switched off my phone and chucked it into my bag.

  I was mentally and physically exhausted. I started walking to the bathroom stripping my clothes off as I walked. I turned on the shower and stepped in. I leaned forward with my hands against the wall, letting the water cascade over me. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore; somewhere deep inside me I knew that this woman was going to be the start of all my troubles.

  There was just something about her that I didn’t trust, and I knew that it was extremely unfair when I hadn’t even met her. The fact that Vincent didn’t understand frustrated me. How could he be so blind, that he couldn’t see that working with this woman could damage us? I knew the nature of the position, and knew that they would be spending every waking moment together. If I was there I could’ve kept an eye on them, but I wasn’t.

  Chapter 6

  Caitlin

  It was the worst night’s sleep I had had in months, I could count the number of fights Vincent and I had had since we had been together on one hand. I had only been away for two days, and already we’d had a major fight, I needed to fix it.

  Where the hell did I put my phone? I started looking for it, I needed to phone him right away. I needed to stop my shit, I needed to trust that he loved me and would never do anything to hurt us. We were engaged for god’s sake. What more of a commitment could I expect from him?

  Finally, I remembered chucking my phone into my bag the night before, but now the battery was flat. Shit, I plugged it in and got dressed for my early morning run. I arranged with Bree to meet up every morning for a run. She stays in the same building as I do. Bree had been in San Diego for over a year already, and worked for Chef Nathaniel full time.

  Bree was already waiting in the lobby by the time I made it down. She reminded me so much of Heather when it came to looks, but not in personality. Bree was very quiet, and kept to herself, not the type to talk a lot. As soon as we left the building she switched her iPod on, and put her earphone in her ears.

  It was a quick run, on our way back we stopped by a coffee shop for an early morning fix, and then made our way back home to get ready for our shift.

  “Be quick, Chef doesn’t take kindly to tardiness. I’ll meet you downstairs.” Bree turned and walked away.

  I showered and dressed in record time. When I got to the lobby Bree was already waiting for me. Holy shit, I didn’t know how she did it. She looked up and smiled at me.

  “So, what time did you guys get back last night?”

  “Just after one. Music was good, eye candy was good and the drinks kept flowing.” She grinned at me.

  “We’re going again tonight, the sexy bartender will be singing again. Oh my god you need to see this guy, fuck he’s good looking. Dark brown hair, and the deepest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. His James Dean look together with that voice is enough to melt the panties off any girl.”

  “That just sounds like trouble, a musician and a James Dean look alike all in one? Not really my cup of tea.”

  “Just come tonight, even if you don’t like his look, you’ll love his music.”

  “Sure, I’ll come, it’s not like I have someone waiting for me at home anyway.”

  Before my work day started I needed to talk to Vincent. I needed to sort things out. I didn’t like going to bed at night fighting. I loved him so much and it was up to me to fix the mess I made by being jealous. By now he should be at work, I just hoped he was in the mood to talk. I dialled his number; my tummy felts like a million butterflies were trying to escape. It didn’t even ring twice.

  “CAITLIN …” I didn’t even wait for him to finish his sentence.

  “I’m sorry Vincent, I’m sorry for being such a bitch, I’m sorry for everything I said to you last night, please forgive me.” The tears were rolling down my face; I turned away from the restaurant and walked into the alleyway to get some privacy, I hadn’t expected to start crying.

  “Thank god you phoned, I’ve been so worried. Babes, I am sorry too, I didn’t think about how this would affect you. I promise you, you are the only person for me, I will never ever do anything to hurt you, you are imprinted in my soul, and you are my other half. I love you Caitlyn, always and forever.”

  “I love you more, god I wish you were here now, I need to be in your arms and see your eyes and feel your kisses. I miss you so much.”

  “I promise I will come and see you this weekend, we will fix this.”

  I was so caught up in the moment talking to Vincent that I didn’t see Chef Nathaniel standing in front of me. He had his arms crossed in front of his chest, his eyes narrowed, I could feel he wasn’t happy.

  “Vincent, I need to go, chat to you tonight.” I quickly switched off my phone and stuffed it into the back pocket of my jeans. I didn’t realise I was standing just outside Earth Purée’s back door.

  “Everything ok, Caitlin?” He asked sternly.

  “Yes Chef.”

  “Good, you think you can join us today?” It was more of an instruction than a question.

  “Yes Chef.”

  “Good, now get yourself inside and start working, we have lots to do before the first clients arrive.”

  I felt like such and idiot, it was just my luck to have Chef Nathaniel witness my breakdown moment with Vincent. I didn’t even want to know what he must have thought.

  I quickly buried myself in my work, not just to hide from my embarrassment, but also to escape the worry in my heart. I trusted Vincent and I trusted our love for each other, but my gut told me I couldn’t trust this woman. It was close to eleven at night when we all finally got to Duke’s.

  As we walked up to Duke’s, I quickly sent Vincent a text to tell him I loved him and I would phone him just before bed. Hopefully he would still be awake.

  We found a table close to the stage; I was sitting with my back to it. Just as expected the rocker was already done for the night, but the pub was busy, people were everywhere. Cassy, the owner I had met a few days ago came up to our table to take our order.

  “Evening ladies, sorry we’re a waitress down tonight so
I’ll be looking after you. What can I get you guys?”

  Meeka was in the mood to party, so she started us off with a round of tequila.

  “I’m not going to walk out of here if we start with that shit so early; I’m more a wine type of girl.” I announced.

  “Oh live a little Caitlin, it’s your first night out with us, and it’s my mission to get you drunk. You’re far too uptight.” Meeka winked at me and then walked off.

  By the time our drinks arrived at the table so did Meeka.

  “I found Mr Sexypants. I convinced him to do a few more songs for us, told him we had a special friend joining us for the first time tonight, and she’s never heard him sing. Oh my god, I nearly creamed my jeans when he spoke. So Caitlin, be prepared to be wowed.” She giggled.

  We ordered a few more drinks; the night was just getting started. I was finally able to let loose a little. The lights in the pub when down, and the jukebox went off.

  “Good evening ladies and gents, me again, I had a special request to do a few more songs tonight, so hopefully you’re not that tired of me.” There was something about that voice that was so familiar, in my heart I knew it was him, but how could that have been possible? The last I had heard he was in Africa. I sat frozen in my chair, Oh god, it couldn’t be. The guitar started playing; I held my breath waiting to hear his voice again. “This time, this place, misused, mistakes, too long, too late …” It was him, it was Brent.

  I slowly turn in my seat; the stage was dark, with only the spotlight focused on him. He sat on a barstool, his one leg propped up to balance his guitar. He was dressed in black jeans, and tight black Jack Daniels t-shirt. I ran my eyes over his torso. The three years had changed him, he was no longer the boy I went to school with, in front of me sat a man. I finally had enough courage to look up to his eyes. Every word that came out of his mouth felt like they were meant just for me. His eyes locked onto mine. I was in trouble. I knew I needed to get out of there, but I couldn’t move. I was hypnotised by him, by his voice, by those eyes. After the song ended the crowed went crazy, the girls at my table where screaming and “whoo hooing” like horney school girls. I just sat there, looking, listening, how was it possible? Could the Universe really be so cruel? Being away from Vincent was hard enough. Then this? I turned around to face my friends; I needed to get out of there.

  “I need to go, I don’t feel so good, sorry girls. See you all tomorrow.” I grabbed my bag, but when I turned to leave I walked bang into what I was most afraid of. I jumped back, my eyes shot up to his face. That cocky smirk, god, how I had missed that.

  “Princess!” Was all he said.

  I closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them again, it would just be a crazy nightmare, and he really wouldn’t be standing in front of me. I could hear the girls behind me whispering, oh hell no, this couldn’t be happening. I slowly opened just one eye, hoping, praying, but no such luck, he was still standing there.

  “Brent, wow!” I managed. I started fumbling with the strap of my bag, totally unsure how to handle the situation.

  “Caitlin, do you know him?” Meeka was pulling on my arm, trying to get my attention.

  “Yeah, I sort of know him. Ummmmhhhh we ………. Uuummmhhh are sort off old school friends.” I didn’t know how else to put it.

  “Hey ladies, do you mind if I steal Caitlin? We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” He winked.

  Brent placed his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. He smelled amazing. Oh my god, I had already had far too much to drink to be able to deal with him right then. I wished Heather was with me, she would have known how to rescue me from the situation. I couldn’t rely on the girls to help, they didn’t exactly know our history together. All they saw was a sex god standing in front of us.

  “Sure. With one condition. You have a drink with all of us first and tell us how you guys met.” I think Bree saw the panic in my eyes.

  “Deal. What can I get you ladies to drink?”

  The girls rattled off what they wanted, I just asked for a glass of water, I needed to sober up to deal with what was coming. Brent walked off to get our drinks at the bar.

  “Hell Caitlin, you’ve been holding out on us.” Meeka looked from me to Brent and then back at me again.

  “Nonsense. I haven’t seen him in three years. I didn’t know he would be here.” I was starting to panic, if Vincent found out Brent was in town, there would be shit. Like my life could get any more complicated.

  By the time Brent came back with the drinks I had managed to calm myself down. Bree placed her hand on my knee under the table, I knew she understood.

  The girls chatted and asked questions. Brent did most of the talking, so not like the boy I remembered. He pulled his chair closer to mine and was resting his arm around the back of my chair. Having him so close to me was driving me crazy, I always knew I had feelings for him, but I hid them away, I had denied them for so very long. The heaviness in my heart was getting too much for me; the memories of what he had done for me came flooding back. The fear was clear in my eyes; but Bree was the only one whose eyes were focused on me and not him.

  “I think it’s time for Caitlin and I to head home.” She announced. “It’s been a really long day, sorry guys, but we’re outta here.” Bree got up, took my hand in hers and pulled me out of my seat.

  “Princess, you going already? We haven’t even had time to talk.” Brent got up and stood in front of me.

  “Yeah, I know. That will have to wait. I really need to go.” I turned and started walking away as fast as I could, as I got to the door I turned, our eyes met, that cocky look in his eyes just melted my heart. I grabbed Bree’s arm and we walked out.

  I let out a long breath as soon as we stepped into the cool night air.

  “Explain yourself woman! The chemistry between you two is crazy.” Bree’s eyes were big and I could see she wanted answers.

  “I can’t talk now I need to get home. Please, let’s just get out of here before he walks out.

  Chapter 7

  Caitlin

  I had been in San Diego for a month already, and Vincent and I hadn’t seen each other. Every time we made arrangements one of us had to cancel for one reason or another. We just couldn’t seem to get it right.

  I knew things were crazy with Simplicity, and from what Heather had told me, Alexis and Vincent had spent every moment together. She was apparently very good at her job, and was definitely an asset to the company, but I still didn’t like the bitch. There was something in my gut that told me there was more to that catty redhead than we knew. I just got the feeling that somehow, somewhere, I knew her. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

  I had made arrangements for us to get away together, and an hour before he was due to pick me up I had phoned to see if he was on his way. The phone rang for a while, and I was about to put down when it was answered. “Hey, Caitlin.” It was not Vincent’s voice.

  I looked down onto my screen to make sure I had dialled the right number, and yes, I had. I was about to lose it when I heard Vincent’s voice in the background.

  “Why the hell didn’t you call me? You shouldn’t have answered my phone. I haven’t even told her that I’m not coming!”

  I flung my phone to the other side of the room, shattering it into ten million little pieces.

  Shit dickhead, now you won’t be able to tell me ‘cause I’ve fucked up my phone.

  I screamed at the top of my lungs, I was so angry I could’ve committed murder, and yes, both Alexis and Vincent were definitely at the top of my list.

  It had also been a month since I had seen Brent at Duke’s. The girls were driving me crazy to go back there with them, but I just couldn’t face him yet.

  I had put the whole Hunter thing behind me, I was finally able to sleep a full night without the nightmares waking me up screaming.

  I would never forget Brent’s words to me that day on the beach.

  “I care for you deeply, even if I’m not the
one holding your heart”.

  I realised back then that I had feelings for him. There was just something about him that I couldn’t shake, something bound us together. I could still feel the attraction between us, and it scared me.

  I was with Vincent, he was my fiancé, and I loved him dearly. Yes, he had neglected me since I had been in San Diego, I didn’t like him very much, but I still loved him. I just needed to forget. I jumped into the shower and dressed into my dark blue skinny jeans, charcoal linen shirt and my dark grey ankle boots.

  It was still early in the evening, so I hoped that Bree would still be home. I had heard her and Caprice making plans to go out to a club. I quickly rushed down and knocked on her door. Bree opened the door, the music was blaring in the background. She was lucky her neighbours hadn’t reported her yet.

  “CAITLIN!! You’re here! Hey guys, look who’s decided to join us!” Bree screamed to the rest of the group sitting in the lounge, drinking wine and laughing.

  I was so glad I had decided to join them. I needed to let my hair down and just forget what was happening at home with Vincent and that little red headed whore. We finished a good bottle or two of wine before heading out for the night.

  Our first stop was a nightclub. The front doors looked like old castle trap doors, solid dark wood with thick chains hanging down on the sides. There was a small crowd in front of us, while we waited for the bouncer to let us in.

  “So Caitlin, what made you change your mind about coming out with us tonight, I thought you said you were spending a romantic weekend with your man?” Willow and I were chatting earlier in the day, and I had told her in great detail about my plans for the weekend.

  I could feel the anger building up inside me again, I couldn’t get that bitch’s voice out of my head, or Vincent’s words. Knowing him, he would be going crazy not being able to get hold of me, but I didn’t care.

  “Where should I begin? I think he’s a little preoccupied back home with something, or someone, else.” I turned around to face the front, I didn’t want them to see the pain I was feeling, I didn’t want my shit to spoil our night out. Luckily for me it was our turn to enter the club.