Shadows in Me Read online

  “Yes, Ma’am!” I said, closing the door. I gulped my food down, and was dressed and downstairs in ten minutes.

  I really should have arranged for Cole to meet me at home to help with the set up, but Caitlin would have suspected something if I did. At least Henry and I got on well enough. Jo was amazing, she managed to turn the place into a wonderland. I could just imagine how amazing it would look when the sun went down over the ocean and the lanterns go on. Everything needed to be perfect for my girl, this night needed to be the night to replace all the bad memories she’s had surrounding her birthday. It’s time for us to move on as one.

  I was sitting at the kitchen table having a beer with Henry when she walked in, it was almost dark. Jo had closed the side of the house off that lead to the party area, and made sure that Caitlin’s windows were closed so she couldn’t see the beach. As far as Caitlin knew her parents was having a little get together with their friends to celebrate the 4th of July.

  “You’re looking much better.” She placed a casual kiss on my cheek. She was always careful not to get to physical with me when her dad was around. He wasn’t the type of man that liked anyone touching or kissing his daughter, and I respected that.

  “Yeah, you’re mom fixed me right up.” I took her hand in my hand, without thinking I ran my thumb over her ring finger, by the end of the night you will be promised to me. Caitlin squinted her eyes and looked from my eyes to our hands. I quickly stopped and lifted her hand to my mouth and placed a kiss on it. She didn’t make a comment but I could see the question in her eyes.

  Heather gave me a look, that said “You idiot”

  I could see Henry just shaking his head at me, He knew he had to help me out of this one.

  “Caitlin darling, I think you girls need to go get ready, we want to go down to the beach, Uncle Patrick has arranged a little get together for the 4th of July celebrations.”

  “Ok, Dad”, Caitlin kissed me and then walked upstairs with Heather.

  “You nearly blew it there son. If you want it to be surprise you need to work better at it.” Henry took the last sip of his beer, stood up and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Cole and myself sitting staring at him.

  “Looks like the old man’s just given you his blessing. Shit, I thought I was going to need to take you to the emergency room tonight after you popped the question.” Cole grabbed a beer out of the fridge.

  “Whatever, dipshit. What took you guys so long? I expected you home over an hour ago”.

  “Well you know these girls by now, shopping with them is hell. I don’t think there’s one shop left at the mall that we didn’t go into. After the freaking 20th store I had to find a place to sit while they carried on. Three hours later I went looking for them; neither of them answered their phones. I don’t know why they carry phones if they can never find them in those godforsaken big bags they carry around.” Two sips later and Cole had finished his drink.

  “Rather you than me. Well we’d better get ready. It’ll take the girls about an hour, in the meantime we need to get the lanterns lit on the beach.” I quickly ran upstairs to shower and then made my way down to the beach to make sure everything was ready.

  I was about to go find Caitlin, when the doors to the patio opened and she walked out. The look on her face was priceless. She was dressed in a white dress that came down to her knees, with golden strappy sandals. Her hair was loose over her shoulders and the light breeze blew through it. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on and after tonight, she’d be all mine.

  Heather was the mastermind behind the outfits, she had made sure I bought white linen pants with a white button up shirt and she helped Caitlin with hers as well.

  I walked towards Caitlin holding my hand out to her; she moved forward into my arms, her body fitting mine so perfectly. She put her arms around my neck and pushed her little body up into mine and kissed me. I could never get enough of the love I have for this woman, the smell of her hair and feel of her skin next to mine. God, I become a soppy fool when she’s near.

  The night was an enormous success; everyone important to Caitlin was there. We danced, we laughed, and we had fun. I knew that for those few hours she had forgotten the hell she had been through the past few years.

  I could see her and Heather chatting about something most of the night. She must have suspected what I had planned. There was no way Heather would’ve kept it to herself. It was almost time. I arranged with Cole and Heather to do the set up for me by the waterfront, away from the crowd of people. Henry had finally come up to me and given me his approval. All I needed was a “YES” from my love.

  Caitlin was standing with her back against me, leaning into me, I had my arm wrapped around her, and the cool breeze caused chills in her body. We stood for a few minutes looking at the fireworks display; I was trying to work up the courage to do it. What if she said “NO?” I scooped her into my arms and started walking towards the ocean.

  “OMG, Vincent if you walk me into the ocean again, I’m going to make sure my father kills you!” She shrieked. Her arms went tight around my neck, clinging to me for dear life.

  “You think I’m scared of him … no ma’ma.” I stopped at the spot Cole had set up, I bent down and kissed her neck, running my tongue all the way up and then kissing her. I slowly lowered her to her feet, letting her stand in front of me. Over her shoulder I could see Jo, Henry and Heather watching us. Hell…no pressure!!

  I let go of her hand and reached for the ring in my pocket. When I pulled out the ring, there was a sharp intake of her breath, I looked up and she was staring at me, I could see the tears well up in her eyes. The world stood still around us. Nothing but Caitlin and I existed in that moment. I bent down on one knee, holding her hand in mine.

  “Whenever I think about our time together and the love we share, I realise more and more I want to spend forever and always with you. Caitlin will you marry me?” I looked into her big blue eyes waiting for her to say something, but nothing came out. My heart stopped, this was what I was afraid of, that she was not ready, I knew I was almost double her age but I also knew we were meant to be, I knew that I could make her happy.

  “Caitlin, are you ok?”, I squeezed her hand a little to try bring her back to the moment, the next thing she stepped forward wrapping her arms around my neck.

  “YES, YES’ YES!! I WILL MARRY YOU!”

  “Oh thank God, you had me worried there for a second.” I placed my hands on her hips and moved her back so that I could stand. I lifted her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger. Then we kissed, I could hear the cheering in the distance, but all that mattered to me in that moment was the two of us and the future we would build together.

  Chapter 3

  Caitlin

  I felt so conflicted! On one hand I was excited for this new part of my journey, but on the other I was leaving. I woke up this morning with a tightness in my chest and heaviness in my heart. How could I just pack up and leave Vincent, could our love survive this distance?

  Just before we left home, I had gotten the call, I had been given the opportunity to go work with Chef Nathaniel in San Diego, and it would be a six month apprenticeship. Although San Diego was not that far away, commuting with the hours I needed to work would just be stupid. So I would need to rent an apartment for the time I was there. I wasn’t too sure how Vincent was going to feel about it, we had been spending so much time together, when I wasn’t at school I worked with him at Simplicity, designing menus and trying out new recipes. It was going to be hard being apart, but it was only for six months and I believed we could do it.

  Heather and Cole had been together for 2 ½ years now, and they were such a power team. With Coles’ marketing skills and Heathers’ sharp mouth, they had taken Simplicity to new levels, and with Vincent and I working on the menu and expanding that side of the business, Simplicity was a force to be reckoned with in the health world.

  Our focus had been on creating a self-sustaining res
taurant/heath bar. We grew our own produce in our green house and all the waste products were re-integrated into the compost we used to grow the produce. It was all very exciting but hard work. That’s why I was so excited to work with Chef Nathaniel; he was one of the first chefs to start a restaurant and health centre of this sort.

  It was already 6:30am but it was dark in the room, I climbed out of bed and walked towards the patio. It was cloudy and a soft rain was falling. I walked out into the rain; I closed my eyes and just stood there, letting the rain wash over me. I could feel his presence even before I saw him. Vincent placed his arms around my waste and his lips on the back of my neck. He kissed me so gently. The tears were streaming down my cheeks by then. How could I leave this? How could I be away from him for just one day? Since our engagement we hadn’t been apart. Waking up in his arms every morning was the best part of my day, to smell him on me even when we weren’t in the same room. But now I was leaving. San Diego wasn’t that far away, but with both our work schedules being so hectic, our time was going to be limited.

  I turned into his arms and placed my hands on his face. I was going to miss this, the love in his eyes. I could just hope and trust that we were strong enough for this to work, but something in my gut was telling me it wasn’t going to be easy.

  He ran his finger over my cheek, gently wiping away the tears that were rolling down my face. “Why are you crying, my angel?” He bent down and kissed away my tears.

  “I’m scared…of leaving home and leaving you. I’m scared of what might happen to us while I’m gone. With our work schedules there will be little time for us. Six months is a hell of a long time to be without you. I don’t know if I can do it.” I bent down and rested my head on his chest. OMG I’m going to miss his so much, I am being such a baby.

  I could feel his lips on my head. “You will be fine, we will be fine. I can’t say that I am happy about being so far away from you, but we’ll make it work, I promise.”

  He bent down, scooped me into his arms and carried me back to his bed. My clothes were soaked from the rain. He lay me gently on the bed and stripped the wet clothes from my body. I was shivering, not only from the cold, but from the anticipation of what was to come. The look in his eyes told me this was not going to be gentle.

  My body was heating up just from that look in his eyes. I could feel a tingle between my thighs. I closed my eyes for just a second. I could feel the bed dip under me, I opened my eyes to find Vincent crawling, almost stalking up towards me. He lowered his head and started nibbling, biting his way up my body. Without being asked I opened up to him, I gripped his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin. The feeling was overwhelming; my body was hot with lust. He took his time licking, spreading me open. I could feel his hands trailing up the back of my leg to my butt. Cupping my cheeks he lifted me up into him, I arched my back holding on to him. It didn’t take long for me to find my release, my orgasm ripped through my body. He growled as he continued his onslaught.

  He softly whispered as he trailed kisses over my belly, “You are so beautiful…and you’re all mine.”

  I was still wet from my own juices which made it easy for him to slip into me. We made love as if this was our last time.

  I awoke with the smell of coffee lingering in the air. I turned to find the bed empty. Our clothes lying in a wet mess on the bedroom floor; I grabbed the sheet off the bed and made my way towards the kitchen. Vincent was standing butt naked in front of the stove cooking breakfast. Oh my god…an instant hot throb started between my legs, my mouth watering at the sight of him. The thought of him taking me right then and there took over my body. I walked towards him, ready to surrender myself to him again, when the front door was flung open. I startled and jumped in his direction, with the sheet perfectly draped around me.

  “YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS AWAKE YET, IT’S ALL ….” Heather stopped dead in her tracks, with Cole walking slam bang into the back of her, making her stumble a few steps forward.

  By now Vincent turned around and was facing them. I finally came to my senses after seeing Heathers eyes drifting downwards.

  I jumped in front of Vincent to protect what was mine. “Don’t you two knock first? Heather!! Eyes up here please!!” I blurted out, in embarrassment.

  Heathers’ face went red; Cole started laughing so loudly I’m sure the neighbours on the other side of the road could hear him.

  “Oh fuck, sorry!” Heather turned around and hit Cole over the head. “I told you we should have phoned first!”

  Both Vincent and Cole thought this was very funny, only men could see the humour in a situation like this.

  “I guess I had better get dressed then. Come darling, I need your protection from you friend’s hungry eyes.” Vincent started walking towards our bedroom, not waiting for me; I rushed to keep up with him, not once taking my eyes off our guests.

  “Oh piss off, I wasn’t checking out your junk if that’s what you were thinking. I was hoping there was some breakfast left over for us.” Trust Heather to jump back from a sticky situation so quickly.

  Vincent and I had a quick shower before having breakfast with Heather and Cole. We decided that Vincent would drive my car up, and then come back with Cole.

  I had found a fully furnished apartment close to where I would be working. It wasn’t very big but it was comfortable. One bedroom, a bathroom with a shower and an open plan kitchen onto the lounge. The colouring throughout the house was white, even the furniture, it was all very stylish. The bedroom had a large vintage French canopy bed, a thick shaggy carpet and an antique wall mirror standing in the corner. White shutters adorned the big bay windows. It had a beautiful crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Oh wow, it was amazing.

  I could have sent Heather and Cole home then and there, just to spend the rest of the afternoon in there with Vincent.

  As if reading my mind, Heather blurted out, “Get your head out of the gutter, bestie; I’m not going home till I’m ready to let you go. Your Hulk can come and visit you another time to christen that bed.” Grinning, she put her arm around me and hugged me tight.

  As an outsider you would have thought that we were never going to see each other again. Both Heather and I stared crying and hanging onto each other. The past three years had been really hard on both of us, and there wasn’t a day that we didn’t see each other. I would not have made it through my hell if it hadn’t been for Heather. She got me back up, when my brain seemed to shut down, not accepting what had happened to me. And when she needed a time out, she would make sure Vincent or Cole were nearby. I didn’t think she could ever understand how much she meant to me.

  Heather helped me to unpack and make my bed. After we were done, we went looking for the boys, but they were nowhere to be found. I phoned Vincent’s phone, it didn’t take him long to answer. They had managed to find a pub that was open for lunch.

  It was a rustic looking, almost like an old vintage home nestled in between a tall building. It was a two storey high building. It had large double wooden doors with heavy solid handles, on either side of it; huge windows with florescent lighting above. Right at the back was the pub, with dark wood finishes and brass foot railings. There were dining tables scattered to the left of the room, but the right side was set up with a stage, dance floor and a few high tables with barstools.

  Walking into Duke’s felt so inviting. I loved it immediately. There was just something about the place that I couldn’t put my finger on.

  We found a table close to the window. The weather was starting to change, dark clouds were rolling in from the sea and it turned cold. I was staring out the window totally oblivious to what was happening around me. It was as if Mother Nature knew the state of my heart and my head. In no time at all, everyone who mattered to me would be driving away, leaving me there in that big city on my own.

  I had never been alone before. How could I leave Vincent, even if it is was just for six months? We should’ve been planning our wedding! Was I doing the right
thing for us? Could we survive this?

  Lunch was amazing; I would definitely be spending my free time here. Cassy, the owner’s daughter, came over to chat to us, such a stunning person and very friendly. What I liked the most was that for the first time, the waitresses wasn’t hitting on my boyfriend. I thought we would get along just fine.

  The weather was getting worse and it was time for my friends to go. It was a short walk back to my apartment, I had both my arms wrapped around Vincent’s, and we didn’t talk much. We were both so wrapped up in our own thoughts, and the fact that it would be at least two weeks before we would have a chance to see each other again. A soft rain was starting to fall, I was grateful for it, it hid my tears well. But I needed to be strong.

  Cole’s car was parked right in front of my building. I didn’t want them to come up, it was hard enough. But we had said our goodbyes at Duke’s. Heather and I were hanging on to each other crying for god knows how long. Poor Vincent and Cole didn’t know what to do.

  All that was left was for me to say goodbye to Vincent. Heather and Cole kissed and hugged me and then got into the car.

  The pain in my chest was overwhelming, I couldn’t do it. I needed him to stay with me, always and forever. It was as if he could feel my anxiety. The tears by then were streaming down my face, not even the rain could disguise it anymore. Vincent pulled me tight against him, as I placed my head on his chest, I just sobbed.

  “I love you Caitlin, you are my everything. I promise you we will make it through this and our relationship will be stronger after all this. Trust in us and our love.”

  Chapter 4

  Vincent

  Thinking back to the day she told me about San Diego, I had just asked her to marry me a few hours earlier. We had had the most amazing evening, but I could feel she was holding something back. I needed to get her home so we could talk.