Shadows in Me Page 11

  I looked like shit, and didn’t feel that great either. I needed a quick shower, and I wanted to be there when she woke up. I was in the shower when the door to the bathroom flung open; my instant reaction was to cover my dick even though the shower curtain was closed.

  “Sorry!” Caitlin rushed in just in time to vomit in the toilet.

  I took my towel and wrapped it around my waist not even bothering to dry myself off. I lifted her hair from her face gripping it in a bunch behind her head.

  “Shit, is it the alcohol?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, I’ve been like this for a week now.” She sat up and I handed her a cloth to wipe her mouth before I helped her up.

  “How often do you get sick? Is it only when you eat or drink something?” I was concerned.

  “Mornings mostly, but some times when I smell something. Why?” She looked up trying to smile.

  “Just asking.” I was no freaking expert, but I had watched enough TV to have an idea on what was going on. I certainly wasn’t going to rock the boat by stating the obvious though.

  “What’s that look about, spit it out.” Caitlin lifted her chin and placed her hands on her hips, trying her best to look tough.

  “Nothing, you want some coffee?” I thought maybe it was me that needed a cup more than she did. There I thought I finally might have had a change with my Princess, but now this.

  “Yes please but no milk, the smell of it will make me puke again.”

  I walked out of the room leaving her. I took my phone off the table and headed to the kitchen. Cassy has sent me two text messages already; I was supposed to have spent the day with her fixing a few things at Dukes.

  Brent: Sorry Babes, I’m not going to make it today.

  Cassy: I thought as much, my dad told me she was in town again. Have a good one.

  Brent: Really sorry, I will make it up to you, I promise.

  I walked back into the room to find Caitlin curled up on the bed with her phone next to her, she was sobbing her heart out.

  I rushed over to the bed and lifted her into my lap, cradling her head to my chest. It took a good ten minutes before she calmed down enough for me to get an answer out of her. She lifted her head from my chest, searching for her phone. She handed it to me, then started crying again. I held her with one hand while navigating her phone with the other.

  “That bitch!” As the words slipped out, I knew it was a mistake. Caitlin’s head snapped up, she squinted her eyes looking at me, it was like a penny had dropped.

  “You knew already! Where were you last night, I was looking for you?!”

  “Yeah, I saw her last night leaving Loverboys house.”

  “You saw her when you went to see Vincent. What happened, what did she say?”

  “Yes, I spoke to her as she was leaving, there was something strange about her. She called me a murderer.

  “What? She knew you?” This was becoming more bizarre by the minute.

  “Vincent and I…how can I say this? We didn’t actually talk. But now you tell me your side of the story.”

  “Where do I start? Heather convinced me to go to the club with them to try fix things with Vincent, I walked in on him and that red headed slut making out on the dance floor. I got into a cab and came here. Then this morning I got this text, it’s obvious he’s moved on. I really loved him, and I thought he loved me. Oh Brent, I’ve been so stupid.” She started crying again, she wrapped her arms around me and just cried.

  There wasn’t much more I could say to her, so I just held on to her, allowing her to let it all out. Sometime later she fell asleep; I lay her down on the bed and took her phone with me to the kitchen. At least I had a phone number to work with.

  “Rick, here’s a number, see what you can do with this. I think it belongs to the person I’m looking for 256 876 9010.

  “Ok, Bro I should have something for you by this afternoon.”

  “Thank you, chat soon.” I hung up.

  I needed to find out who this woman was, there was something familiar about her, as if I had seen her before. I knew I was being selfish, but having Caitlin here with me, all to myself, felt great. Maybe…just maybe, we would have a chance with Vincent out of the way. Maybe she could learn to love me.

  I was deep in my thoughts when my phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Brent, its Heather, how’s Caitlin doing.”

  “Hey, she’s asleep now; she got another text from Alexis.”

  “What? What did it say?”

  “It was a little more graphic, it was a picture of her and Vincent, naked and in bed together. She’s devastated, I must be honest, I’m not too sure what to do.”

  “You must be kidding me? I spoke to him last night and he promised me that nothing happened between them. He said he realised he still loved Caitlin and being with Alexis was wrong, so she slept in the guest room. After you left his house he went looking for her and she was gone. She didn’t even come back to work today, it’s like she just disappeared.”

  “I saw her leave last night when I got to the house. There was something familiar about her Heather, like we’d met before, she also called me a murderer. Heather do you believe Vincent?” I had to know.

  “Right now I don’t know what to believe, after what happened at the club anything’s possible.”

  “I think I should keep her here with me for a few days. Just until she more on her feet and able to deal with this, at the moment she’s broken.”

  “I wish I could be there with you, I’m so worried about her.”

  “Well let’s see how things are looking by Monday, if she’s up to it I’ll bring her back home. Keep me up to date on what’s happening with Dickhead, and if you happen to see Alexis again.” I was worried about Alexis.

  After the phone call with Heather, I sat down and made a list of things that just didn’t add up. I was depending on Rick to come up with something soon. This Alexis woman spelled trouble, and I needed to sort it out.

  Chapter 17

  Caitlin

  I couldn’t believe how I had fucked up my life. In such a short amount of time my life has made a complete 360° turn. Before Christmas I was engaged, in love with the man of my dreams, and in such a short amount of time it had all fallen apart. I had run away from my home and had been locked up in Brent’s apartment, away from the world. He had been super amazing with looking after me, I knew it must have been hard for him, he had a whole new life in San Diego, and then I came along to mess it all up. He spent most of his mornings with me, but he had work to do downstairs. As it was, Cassy wasn’t very fond of me, and then there I was stepping on her turf.

  I had asked Brent if there was anything going on between the two of them but he was adamant that even though he was attracted to her, they were just friends. I knew that he had feelings for me too, and that me being there had given him hope, but my heart belonged to Vincent, all ten million of the broken pieces.

  I had spoken to Heather and she had told me that Alexis had left. She had never come back to work after that night at the Club. They couldn’t get a hold of her, her phone seemed to be disconnected. It was as if it was her entire mission to fuck things up between Vincent and I, and once that was done, she just vanished. Heather also said that Vincent denied sleeping with Alexis, he admitted to taking her home, but said that once they got there he had changed his mind and sent her home.

  I didn’t know if I believed him, after what I had seen at the club, how could I ever forgive him for that? Besides, the fact that he had even thought about doing it was enough for me. I thought the betrayal from Hunter was bad enough, but then this happened. I knew that I would always love him, but I didn’t know if I could ever forgive him.

  “Good morning Princess, I brought you some coffee.” Brent placed the cup of coffee on the table next to me. The aroma of the coffee hit my nose and immediately I felt sick.

  “Get out of my way!” I jumped out of bed making a bee line for the toilet. After abo
ut five minutes of puking my lungs out I was finally able to unwrap myself from the toilet seat. I really needed to get to a doctor; I needed to find out what was wrong with me.

  “Hey, are you ok? You’re really starting to worry me.” Brent walked into the bathroom and helped me to my feet.

  “I don’t know, I think it’s time I go see a doctor, but my doctor’s back in Longbeach and I don’t know if I’m ready for that just yet.” I was scared of going back, everything about Longbeach reminded me of Vincent, and the fact that we were no longer together.

  “I could ask Cassy to help us out; she’s been staying here her whole life, so I assume she’s got one.” Brent pulled out his phone and started dialling her number.

  I put my hand over his, stopping him. “Do you think it’s a good idea to ask Cassy for help? I’m her least favourite person at the moment.”

  Brent looked at me with a puzzled look in his eyes. “What are you talking about? Cassy’s my friend and so are you. What I’m doing for you I would do for her in a heartbeat, she knows you need me now. I told her what’s going on and she’s even offered her help.”

  “Oh, really! Wow I didn’t expect that. When did you speak to her?”

  “The first night you were here, I phoned her from the car on my way back. I’m sorry, but I told her what had happened, I needed a woman’s opinion, I didn’t know what to do.”

  “I can’t believe you told her. I’m not sure I’m too happy about it. Now even more people know how fucked up my life really was.” I turned and walked over to the window. It had started raining again. The weather certainly wasn’t doing anything to help lift my mood.

  “I’m sorry, Princess; I didn’t mean it like that.” Brent came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

  I was at a loss for words; my brain was turning into porridge and my heart into mush. Brent being so close to me wasn’t good; I could feel my body melting into him, depending on him for comfort, mistaking his friendship for more than it was. I needed to get away before it was too late and we both ended up getting hurt.

  “I need Heather!”

  Brent let me go and I turned around to face him.

  “What?” He looked confused.

  “I really need Heather, I think she’ll know what to do. I’ve been away from home for far too long. If I go back I believe she’ll be able to keep Vincent away from me. I really don’t ever want to see him again. Brent, we both know it’s not good for me to be here. I have feelings for you and I know you have feelings for me, but it’s not the right time. I’m only going to hurt you, and you mean too much to me, I can’t let that happen. I hope you understand.” I lifted my hand to touch his face but he just turned and walked out the room. I heard the front door slam.

  I pulled my phone out my bag and texted Heather.

  Me: Come and get me please.

  Heather: On my way.

  I was sure I was going to get a long winded speech from her, but I didn’t care. I packed all my belongings as quickly as I could. I needed to find Brent before I left, I needed to make sure things were ok between us. Next to Heather, he was my best friend and I couldn’t lose him too. I just couldn’t offer him anything more at that stage, I hoped he understood.

  I walked up to the window and saw his truck still standing in the same spot, which meant he must have been downstairs. I placed my bags next to the door and walked down to Dukes.

  I pushed the doors open and in the far corner of the pub Cassy and Brent were sitting at a table, she had her hand placed over his on the table and they were talking; or rather she was doing all the talking. He had his head bowed and was looking at their hands. I slowly made my way towards them, not too sure if it was the right thing to do. As I got closer, Cassy looked up at me, for a second I think she was contemplating what to do. Then she smiled at me and said something to Brent. His head snapped up and he looked directly at me. Cassy patted his hand and got up from the table, indicating for me to sit down.

  “I think, I’ll leave you guys to talk.” Cassy placed her hand on my shoulder and walked away.

  “I phoned Heather, she’s coming to pick me up.” I was nervous, my heart aching.

  “I know, she phoned me.” Brent looked me straight in the eyes; I could almost feel the pain I saw there.

  “I’m sorry Brent.” I said softly.

  “For what Caitlin?”

  “For hurting you.”

  “I don’t know what to say to you, I don’t know how to explain to you why I’m upset. I knew you could never love me, but I was hoping I could protect you from people like him. I just don’t understand you going back to him after everything he’s done to you.”

  “I’m not going back to him, that ship has sailed. Yes, I love him with my whole heart, but it’s over. I’m doing this because if I stay, I would love you for the wrong reasons and that’s not fair on either of us.” I clutched my hands together on the top of the table. I really did love Brent, but this wasn’t our time, and if what I suspected was true, how could he love me if I was carrying another man’s child. I was hoping it wasn’t possible. I hadn’t missed one day of my pill, not even in my fragile state, it was just something that was part of my daily routine.

  Brent placed his hands over mine, they felt so warm. “I just don’t want you to get hurt anymore, I want to protect you. I failed you before, and I just don’t know if I can go through all that again.” I could hear the hurt in his voice

  “You haven’t failed me Brent! Because of you I am here today, you’ve saved my life more than once, and I don’t think I would have gotten through this hell if it wasn’t for you. I just need to go sort myself out; right now I’m no good to anyone.”

  “I won’t say that I understand, but ok, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Just always remember that I’m here, I’ll keep tabs on you and look out for you. You mean the world to me Princess, never forget that.” He got up from his chair and walked around to table to me. I got up and over his shoulder I could see Cassy watching us.

  “You will always be my best friend, and you’re always welcome to come and see me when you feel you need to get away.” I was about to hug him.

  “Oh! So now he’s your best friend! I leave you in his care for one week and you’ve forgotten all about me.” Heather walked up to the table. I could see the humour in her eyes.

  “Your timing is as perfect as ever, you don’t miss a beat, you got here quickly.” I turned and hugged her instead. I was glad she had finally arrived.

  “I was already on my way when you phoned. Is it too early for a drink, or do you want to hit the road right away?” She looked from me to Brent, I could almost hear the wheels turning in her head.

  “Brent and I have just said our goodbyes; I think it’s time to go.” I turned to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I needed to get away before I changed my mind.

  When I got to Heather’s car she wasn’t behind me, I could only imagine what she must have been saying to Brent inside. I needed to find my own answers and quickly, but I didn’t want to do it with Brent around. After fifteen minutes Heather finally made her appearance.

  “You took your time, what the hell did you say to him inside.” I crossed my arms in front to me and looked at Heather.

  “That’s for me to know and you to never find out.” Heather got back in the car and waited for me to be settled before she started talking again.

  “So, where to?” She asked.

  “Home and on the way maybe we could stop at a chemist?” I looked straight ahead, I didn’t even look in her direction. I was afraid that she would see the worry in my eyes.

  “Sure. Do you think by the end of the day, we could sit down and have a good chat about what’s been happening over the past few months? I feel that we’ve drifted apart, and I really need my bestie back.”

  “Yeah, we need to talk; I’ve missed you so much.” I blinked a few times trying to fight back the tears. I placed my hand on her leg and squeezed it hard.
r />   “Good, now let’s get going.”

  We didn’t speak much the rest of the way home. I was wrapped up in the mess of what my life had become, and I think Heather realised that I would talk when I was ready. The radio was the only sound in the car. The Heart wants what it wants by Selena Gomez started playing.

  I leaned my head against the window, looking out, but not really seeing anything.

  “Heather, I think I’m pregnant.” I could not hold the tears back anymore, I started sobbing.

  Heather pulled the car to the side of the road. She got out of the car, opened the door and pulled me out.

  “OMG, are you sure?”

  “No, that’s why I want to stop at the chemist. But my gut is telling me I am.”

  “Oh Caitlin, I am so happy for you.”

  “No you’re not, stop lying, you’re just as terrified of this as I am. This is totally fucked up.”

  “Don’t hit me, but I need to ask, do you know who the Dad is?” Heather stepped back, almost expecting me to hit her.

  “How could you ask me that, I never cheated on Vincent.”

  “I’m sorry; I just needed to make sure. You need to tell him.”

  “No, I don’t want to tell him, we’re over. Besides, I still need to make sure.”

  “You can’t hide this, he’s going to find out eventually…. Or are you not planning to keep it?”

  “I don’t know, let’s just find out first.” We got back in the car and drove the rest of the way in silence, both of us lost in our thoughts.

  Heather offered to go into the chemist for me, and when she came out she was carrying a big brown paper bag. She must have bought every brand of pregnancy test she could find.

  I took my time unpacking, trying to buy some time, preparing myself for what I knew was going to be the outcome. I tried five different tests, and every single one had the same result.

  “I’m fucked.”

  Chapter 18

  Caitlin

  “I’ve set up an appointment with the doctor for this afternoon; do you think you can come with me?” I was sipping my morning coffee. After the initial shock yesterday, I was finally able to deal with my reality.